PHD Worthy Intimacy
- Miranda Wylie
- May 30
- 2 min read
Updated: Jun 6
“Yes,” I squealed in response to her request. My enthusiasm could not be tamped down. My clients see an authentic version of myself. There is no mask I put on. And the authentic version of myself when I am delighted is a squealy, boisterous and sometimes loud ball of energy.
“Are you patronizing me?” Lainey asked.
“Fuck, no! I am though showing you a bit more of my enthusiasm because I think you’re ready to experience more of my celebration of your intimacy growth.”
“But, what I did isn’t celebration worthy.”
For her, like many, she was raised to be modest, to make small her contribution, except for in service of men. And at that you work steadily for the men without making them feel like you did the work. Bolster their ego, ignore yours. Basic Christian, heteronormative, patriarchal programming. But like, more modern, in that becoming a wife and mother wasn’t at the top of the list of what her parents wanted for her. Lainey earned a PHD in her 20s. For this she was celebrated and which feels correct.
“Receiving praise when I graduated and even now about that accomplishment feels good. It’s easy to be celebrated for that,” she said.
“Well, in my books a woman asking for what she wants with integrity is PHD worthy celebration, especially considering that a woman asking for what she wants is shamed in dominant culture,” I said.
“I just went up to a 7,” she noted. We have devised a 1-10 number system to communicate her stress response: 1 is blissful calm, 10 is panic attack. She takes a long slow exhale while placing a hand on her chest. “I feel like I have to match you.”
Read the rest of the story on Substack.
An audio recording is available there as well.
No AI, it's me. Hear my squeal.
Enjoy!
